or Who I AM & What It Is That I Do….
Who I am is a hard thing for me to define. I am many things and they are all me. As of this writing, I would say I am a filmmaker, a writer, a potential Crossdresser, a Buddhist and a Dominant-in-Trianing. I live in many words and roam in many circles and somehow I have to find a way to be me in each. I know this blog will not be for everyone and I will not try to make it so. This is about who I am now and exploring and discovering who I am to be. This is my journey of growth.
This blog is going to be mostly about my growth in Crossdressing, Buddhism and the BDSM Lifestyle. It is going to be adult in material but not graphic. I am going to be as honest and frank as possible in this blog. There’s no point in hiding things because you cannot grow in the shadows. You have to put yourself out there and show that you are human.
I have just recently started to crossdress. I have been working towards dressing in public for several months and very recently came out. This is something I have to work through mentally and emotionally as it brings up issues from my childhood and is a completely new facet of my life. I have a wonderful support group of friends in this and everything else I am doing so I know I have people to fall back on when the going gets rough. But I hope to also put these issues out here in case someone else has gone through the same and can offer advise.
I have been a Buddhist for a little bit longer. “Officially” I have been a Buddhist since Nov. 07 as that is when I took refuge for the first time and dedicated myself to the Path of Enlightenment by taking the 5 Lay person vows. I am a Tibetan Buddhist and this has become a big part of my life. I have gotten out of practice due to emotional and mental issues but I am trying to get back to where I was.
I have been a part of the BDSM lifestyle for 10 years or so. That said, I feel I am still a novice. I am part of a wonderful local group and have learned a lot but I have no practical experience. Mental aspects of Domination and submission I have a better grasp on but even then, still somewhat a novice. I have a beautiful and wonderful girl coming down to see me in a few months and I want to make sure I am more along this Path by the time she gets here so we can experience more together. I am also looking to start my own Lifestyle Poly family starting with her by my side.
After a recent discussion with a knowledgeable and more experienced friend, I am also starting to feel like I need to earn that kind of stature. It’s one thing to say I am the Head of my own House and it’s another to earn the title of Head of the House. I want to earn the respect of others in the Lifestyle by growing in it and not just slapping a title on me. There are some ways of doing this that I am exploring to see which is going to be best for me.
The only other thing I can think you should know about me is I suffer from depression and this greatly effects me and my activities. But I am getting help for this and I hope to conquer it to the point it is not as big a problem as it can be. There are times when it is crippling to me and I cannot do anything. This is something I have to conquer or I can do nothing I need to do to grow.
Everything else will come out in my posts. Drop me a message if you want to know more and I haven’t gotten to it yet.
